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22 Aug 2013

Fifteen Minute Pity Party

 

 

 

 

 

“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss, yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 3:20-23 NLT

“You have 15 minutes for a pity party and then it’s time to move on.” These words were the bane of my existence when I was a teenager. They came at me often and made my turmoil seem so much greater. They made me drop the curtain on my dramatic damsel in distress one-girl show and focus on how I was going to get out of my situation. Ugh! This let loose my internal hysterics.

These words were uttered from my very wise mother. But in those days I wanted the entire world to hear how I had been mistreated, misjudged, and misunderstood. I wanted someone to agree with me that my life stunk, that no one ever understood the challenges I faced as a teenager, that being a middle child I was doomed to be average.

My sisters and I chuckle now when we discuss this with our mother. And I do remember how mad it made me, but I see the wisdom in her words now. My mother’s childhood was challenging and didn’t leave time for wallowing in self-pity. So to her self-pity is a waste of time. Nothing gets accomplished when we are rolling around in our yuck like a stinky pig in her sty.

But life is filled with yuck. And getting out of it can be so difficult that staying where we are seems like the safest bet. I know because in the past I’ve stayed in the pit and prayed a ‘woe is me’ prayer to God for stretches at a time.

Too often we define ourselves by our yuck. We label ourselves as bad instead of a good girl who made a bad choice. We see ourselves as failures and are certain everybody else is judging us as such.

But failure is a part of life.

Almost every biblical character that most people can name by heart made huge mistakes in their journey with God. Abraham fled to Egypt, lied about his relationship with Sarah, didn’t wait for God to give him a child and yet still became the father of the nation of Israel. Moses murdered an Egyptian, disobeyed God by striking a rock, but God used him to bring the Israelites back to their homeland. David committed adultery and murder but after all that was still called a man after God’s heart. Peter denied Jesus, was hot tempered and questioned Jesus’ motives, and God used him to become the rock of the Christian church.

We are going to fail. No question. But it’s how we respond to failure that determines our success.

It’s okay to grieve when something doesn’t go as planned whether in life or business. It’s natural for our hearts to hurt when someone damages our reputation or uses piercing words to wound us. It’s necessary for us to have the opportunity to get closure when something we’ve worked hard for disappears without a trace.

In Lamentations 3 Jeremiah writes that he will grieve over his loss.

But he also hopes. He dares to hope in God and His faithful love, believing that God makes all things new, celebrating that God’s mercies are new every morning.

Even in the midst of challenging circumstances we can believe that God can make something good come out of our yuck.

The promise that we are not alone as we walk this life changes the way we look at failure.

Failure seems to have a negative connotation and yet I believe that failure only happens when we dare to try something new and different. Failure is a stepping-stone to success. And many times we are one step away from victory but we give up just shy of it.

And failure is not an adjective that describes us. Too often we slap that label on us and let it define us. We walk into a room and say, “Hi my name is Failure. Would you like a list now of all of my mess ups or should we wait until later?”

God made us and declared us good. We are defined by a living and loving God of second chances who refreshes us each day with a new start.

Would you join me in giving yourself a fresh start each day? Do you dare to hope in the promises of God and His faithful love?

You have fifteen minutes for a pity party and then it’s time to move on…to greatness.

 

 

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14 Aug 2013

My New Normal

 

 

 

 

 

“He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise for our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3

I recently read a blog where the writer described her new normal. It required her to let go of some old friends and situations that were not good for her. It meant taking a step outside of her very comfortable existence and trying something new. It dared her to walk along God’s path and to see that it was oh so good.

Her new normal…

My new normal…

I am not the same girl as I was 20, 10, even 2 years ago. I have dared to step out in faith and trust that God knows what He is doing in my life – even when it seems at times chaotic and at times uncomfortably silent.

Yet the voices that held the old me in bondage continue to rise up and dictate my days. And old habits die hard especially when those voices – as negative as they are – were constant companions for over 20 years.  And even though they don’t take residence in my brain as habitually as they did in the recent past, they still whisper and taunt me when I dare to step up and step out. And unfortunately I have invited them in and listened to their harassment.

But Paul said that anyone who is in Christ is a new person. The old is gone and the new has begun (1 Corinthians 5:17). And because I have committed my life to Christ and finally believe that I am new and I can do all things through Christ, then I need to silence the nay sayers and create my new normal.

My new normal means…

• Believing that I am chosen by God; I am His beloved and He is mine. Acknowledging that I am precious to Him. Living as though I am the bride of Christ, a mighty warrior. Knowing I am beautiful, desired, created on purpose for a purpose and that I am defined by God. Period. His opinion is the only one that matters.

• Grasping the power of Jesus in me and holding tight to Him when I am the most frightened. I can do all things that God has called me to because the power of Jesus lives in me.

• Walking as a woman confident in the talents God gave me, but living and boasting only about Jesus and the way He can change a person from the inside out.

• Living a fun, extraordinary, abundantly joyful life. Jesus died so that I can have an amazing time on this earth serving Him and telling others about His amazing grace. With God’s help I am daring to love extravagantly.

• Taking off the mask and being real. As I risk letting others see my flaws (and there are oh so many) my hope is that they will see Jesus shining through the cracks in my life. Jesus is the only one I want people to see when they look at me.

So what is your new normal? Do you have one? Would you like to?

All of the above truths belong to anyone who has chosen to follow Jesus. They are ours, but we must believe and receive them as truths in our lives.

Today is the best day to begin creating your new normal. The past is gone and doesn’t have the right to haunt us or keep us bound to our old selves. You aren’t that same person any more. You have grown. You are changed because of God’s amazing grace.

Embrace the change. Dare to live a life dependent on Jesus.

You have the power to create your new normal.

 

 

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